Keeping Your Marriage Alive

Keeping your marriage alive

Written by Amanda and Dominic Hawkins

There will be times in your marriage when things become too serious for there to be relaxation or a state of peace, especially with worldly problems such as taxes, bills, kids, pets, house payments, etc. To keep your relationship burning bright as the day you married each other, have a light heart, be simple, have fun. Do cute things together. Make silly faces across the room when no one is looking. Jokingly nudge your partner. Text each other while you're sitting side by side.

My husband and I went to the mall yesterday. We made a bet that we wouldn't find very many scents that we agreed on in the Yankee Candle store, since we have very different taste in candles. He bet that we would only find 3, and I bet that we would find 4. The winner would receive a kiss from the loser. It turned out that we actually agreed on at least 6 candles throughout the store, but I still came closest to the winning number, so I won the kiss. It was very cute, and I love those moments that my husband and I share together. It is very important to cherish those precious things.

One time we stood on a pier looking out at the lake houses and imagining what our ideal house would be like. We spent the entire afternoon daydreaming and sharing our thoughts of the future. We went through the pros and cons of what houses we would like, what we wouldn't like, and what would be suited best for us, including the land and the layout. We used an old pair of binoculars to see across the lake to the fancy houses, and we felt like stalkers, but we had a lot of fun. All of a sudden storm clouds started to roll in very quickly, and rain began to pour. The other people on the pier next to us ran back to their cars and drove away, but we stayed, standing on the dock holding each other tightly, watching the storm scatter across the glassy water in a strange pattern of diagonal rain lines and waves created by the wind. I asked my husband if he had seen anything like it before. He just looked at me with a toothy grin and started talking in an Irish accent impression that he learned from watching the movie Braveheart. To this day it is one of my favorite memories. Regardless of what you do together, enjoy the moment, make the best of it, even if you're just drinking coffee together in the kitchen.

I'll stop rambling on, and present to you my top 4 list of things to do that keep the spark in your marriage:

• Stop and smell the Roses

    Enjoy each others' company, don't be so serious. Make time for each other throughout your days and busy schedules. Never stop dating each other, never stop playing around with each other and having a sense of humor. Find joy and contentment in doing what your spouse likes to do, and make the best of your time spent together. Never stop enjoying the little things. I am guilty of this. I tend to be too serious and I lose sight of the fun things in life. Let loose a little, and don't be afraid to have a good time with your husband, laugh a little, let the joy that the Lord gave you shine through.

• Always give 100%.

    Give one hundred percent to your spouse, and your spouse should give one hundred percent to you. Keeping a marriage burning bright takes work, because you always have to give your all, even if you're not feeling good, even if you're upset, or if you had a hard day at work. Just like you did when you first got together. You have to try as hard as possible to give your hundred, even if your spouse isn't giving their percent. Always give 100% and more if you can. Your spouse deserves it, even if you think they don't sometimes.

• Make love

    Showing affection physically is very important to marriage. And I don't mean just having sex, or just 'doing it to get it over with,' but actually making love. So many marriages have gone dull because the husband and wife have lost their passion for one another sexually. (Not pointing fingers here, but it's usually the wife first.)

    It may seem silly, but if you keep the bed alive, your marriage will thank you for it, because sex is holy in the sanctity of marriage. So ladies, pull out that lingerie from the back of your top drawer, please your husband, and to the men, please your wife as well. Be selfless in the bed. Serve one another. Make love.

• Serve the Lord together

    Pray, read the bible, and worship the Lord with one another. A family that prays together stays together. If you please the Lord, he will be the glue that holds your marriage together. "What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate." -- Mark 10:9

    As husband and wife you were created to be "heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered." 1 Peter 3:7

    Work together as a team, pray together, serve the Lord together.

May God bless you and your marriage, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.