Wednesday, July 13, 2016

How My Life Was Changed Forever

How My Life Was Changed Forever
Written by Amanda Hawkins

When I was 16 I was very confused. I didn't know what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be, or even why I was here.
I had just gone through my first heartbreak with someone I had a crush on.
I had so many questions about the meaning of life, and was searching for answers in a lot of different religions.

My younger sister was going through some tough things as well at the time, and one day she gave her life to Jesus. She cried and prayed for what seemed to be an hour with my parents (who have been saved for years,) on the living room floor, repenting, and I saw the Lord work through her. I didn't really know what it was that had changed her, but I knew I wanted it too. I seen God transform her!
I became jealous of her, and was still searching, and couldn't understand why God didn't want me too. 'Why did God choose her and not me?'

I started reading the bible in secret because I didn't want my family to know for some reason, even though I was raised on Christianity. Nothing of the bible seemed to make sense to me at the time though.

One day my dad and my sister were out on the front porch talking about God, and I walked in on the conversation. Out of the blue my dad started talking to me. I believe to this day that God was giving him the words to say, because he was saying things that I felt, saying how I was searching, and how I just needed to give everything to Jesus. The tears poured out themore I tried to choke them back. There seemed to be nothing else around me except this pressure in the air and the words that were being said to me.
I remember saying 'I don't know what to say. I don't know how.' And my dad just said 'say what you feel, I can't say it for you.'
I bowed my head, tears still streaming, hardly able to speak, as broken words of repentance for my sins slipped out of my mouth. Over and over again I said 'I'm sorry Lord Jesus, for everything,' until there wasn't a tear left in me or another word left to say, and I felt this calming feeling, and a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. The time felt as if it just lingered in the air.

I slowly raised my bowed head and I had never seen anything more beautiful than the sun when I opened my eyes, this bright light, white and pure. Everything around me was different, and I felt changed. As I looked up my dad smiled and said 'you just got born again.' And my mom and my sister hugged me.

I felt like a new person, truly alive. Food tasted better, colors were brighter, the air smelled fresh, and I was smiling constantly. When I read the bible, all of a sudden it made sense, and I had so much love.

That was the best day of my life, and that is my testimony. The Lord has been my light ever since, and I don't know what I would do without Him. Jesus changed my life forever. He is my savior.

I pray that my testimony meant something to you, and that you see the light as I have. Peace be with you, in the name of Jesus.

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