She Will Do Him Good And Not Evil

She Will Do Him Good And Not Evil
Written by Amanda Hawkins

"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life."
Proverbs 31:10-12

  I recently found out that our next door neighbors are having some issues.
  As I was getting ready to leave the house this morning, I could hear the couple arguing loudly through the wall that connects our apartment to theirs.
  The husband was cursing at the wife, and her likewise at him, which they rarely do. Then I heard him say something that made me very sad for them. 
  "I work all day to provide for you, and then I find out you're cheating on me, sleeping with my buddy."
  (The vocabulary choice was a little more harsh, but you get the idea.)
  As I left the house they were still yelling at one another, and all I could do was pray for them. I was almost in tears.

   The husband was not able to lean on his wife, to safely trust in her and have no need of spoil. This husband was betrayed by his wife, his helper, his other half. 

  This wife was not a virtuous woman, though not many of us are. As king Lemuel implies in Proverbs 31, that finding a virtuous woman is rare, and her price is far above rubies. We all have something we need to work on, and many of us fall short of being Godly virtuous women, but praise the Lord, he is full of Grace and gives it abundantly when we need it most.

  I prayed that the couple would come to the Lord, and that they would be able to work it out. I prayed that the Lord would change both of their hearts, if it be in His will.

  Cheating is one of the worst things you can do to your spouse. It will wreck the family, it will destroy trust, and it will break down every individual involved. It is a toxic, lust. It does not please the Lord. It doesn't even truly please the flesh once all is said and done. It leaves you unsatisfied, and does not bring true joy. Lust. That is all it is.

  As husband and wife, we are created for one another, but we have to work hard to stay together. You can not simply put away your husband or your wife every time the going gets rough, or every time someone else is more sexually attractive for some reason or another.

  As Christian wives, we should be virtuous, as our husbands are supposed to be able to trust in us, and our children are supposed to call us blessed.
  Do you think you can be called blessed if you are cheating on your husband?
  Do you think that your husband can trust in you? 

  Though these verses are not about cheating, they are simply about giving your husband a reason to trust in you, doing him good and not evil all the days of your life.

  Even if you are not cheating on your husband, but you are constantly nagging him, or you are talking bad about him to a friend, or if you are taking over a job that he is capable of doing and enjoys, then you are then doing him no good, and his heart will not safely trust in you.

  Contemplate these verses and write them on your heart. Because it is imperative that we be virtuous women in this sinful world. If we are daughters of God, and wives to men of God, or even if we are unequally yolked, we must be virtuous women. 

  Women of Proverbs 31, and of Titus 2, and of 1 Peter 3, and of 1 Corinthians 11. 
  
  Women like Sarah Abraham's wife, who even called her husband Lord.

  Women like Abigail, who offered her own life and humbled herself in front of King David to save her wicked husband Nabal from death. 

  Women like Ruth who are hard working, faithful, trustworthy, and honest. 

  Women like Esther who fulfill the role that the Lord gives them, without grudging complaint, and without disdain. 

  Husbands need wives that they can trust in.

  The world needs more virtuous women of God.
  
  

The Purpose Of Christian Head Coverings

    I recently bought a pashmina prayer shall or head scarf, and I want to write to you about Christian head covering, the purpose, the symbolism and the misunderstanding concerning the practice.

     The concept of Christian head covering, may seem foreign, but the bible does speak of head coverings for women specifically in 1 Corinthians chapter 11, verses 3 through 16. 

     Most women who read these verses assume that it is a commandment that women wear a literal head covering, or that they are never supposed to cut their hair. In my perception that is not so. Read it for yourself. (I will post the verses at the bottom of this article.)

     What the verses are talking about, is marriage, the order of headship. "The head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." -- 1 Corinthians 11:3

     All throughout the verses you will read that Paul writes about man and woman, and their place under God.

     The head covering, is symbolism; a mere reminder that your head is covered by your husband, you are under his authority, as his head is covered by Christ, and he is under Christ's authority.

     If it were to be taken literally, then head coverings would not be relevant at all, because the verses say that hair was given as a covering. (Which is why some branches of Christianity practice not cutting their hair.)

     There is no way I can perceive these verses to be literal, except as a practice of symbolism. 

     Now, whether or not you choose to wear a head covering literally, should be something you should ask your husband and the Lord about. It should be based on whether or not you have the conviction to do so, and if your husband wants you to wear one, because remember, as women, we are under our husbands in the chain of command ordained by God. My husband is my head covering. 

     I do occasionally wear a head covering, my husband does like it, and it is a very humbling, and beautiful symbol as a Christian wife. It reminds me that God ordained my husband above my head to cover me, and that Christ covers him. It reminds me that I am separate from the world, and it reminds me to be humble, and modest.

     Head covering can be applied during prayer as well. 

     A great place that sells head coverings, is Garlands Of Grace. She has some beautiful designs, and I love her website. 

     Read the verses pertaining to head covering and marriage below. Pray about it, and talk about it with your husband. 

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3 "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

4 Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head.

5 But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven.

6 For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered.

7 For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.

8 For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man.

9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.

10 For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels.

11 Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.

12 For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God.

13 Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?

14 Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?

15 But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.

16 But if any man seem to be contentious, we have no such custom, neither the churches of God." 

-- 1 Corinthians 11:3-16    

Raising Future Adults: A Letter To Parents

 I am beginning my second year of working in child care, and as I go to work Monday through Friday, my heart aches more with each day.

  The children bicker and fight over toys that their friends have, they hit one another for no reason whatsoever, they tattle on each other just to get their friends in trouble, and they throw themselves back with blood curdling screams and fits when they don't get their way.

  None of these children are happy all day for even one day out of the week.

  The parents are afraid of hurting their children's feelings, so they don't correct them.They are afraid of saying no to them, so they give them everything they ask for. They are afraid of admitting that their children make mistakes, so they make excuses for them.

  Dear parents,you are not raising children, you are raising future adults.

  Children will not always need someone to help dress them in the morning, to wipe their noses, or to cut their meat up into small pieces. Children will grow older, and they will no longer need assistance in the bathroom, and one day will not need to hold hands with you as you cross the street. 

  However, the bad behaviors and the habits that they exhibit, the discontentment, the anger, and the spoiled attitudes, will carry on throughout their lives, and some children will never grow out of it even once they mature into adults, because it is all that they know.

  If you freely give your children everything they want, they will never learn to be thankful, or content, and they will never understand the value of the dollar. They will not be wise or frugal, and will not learn that material things do not bring true happiness. 

  If you allow your child to be the boss and walk on you, the result will be an adult that will be demanding and controlling, and prone to anger.

  Your children will have a difficult time finding the Lord in the future if they were raised with seeds of anger, discontentment, impatience, disrespect, you name it.

  Every decision that you make for your children as a Christian parent, should help them and encourage them to turn to the Lord in the future, and give them tools to be a functioning, respectful, and wise adult.

  We can not think of our children as children. We have to think of them as future adults. 

  We can not underestimate the intelligence of our children, or their capabilities.
  We have to allow our children to let go of certain childish behaviors and habits when they are ready, and equip them to be able to grow and mature. We also have to correct behaviors that are toxic.
  
  Behaviors such as tantrums and fits, being overly emotional and dramatic, or slapping, biting, pulling hair, etc.

  The fact is that all children occasionally challenge authority, or see the lines of good and evil as blurred. But it is your job to fill in those lines and correct your children, just as God corrects us when we go astray from His will.

  Do you want your children to grow to be upright, respectful, and bold men and women of God?

  Or would you rather that they grow to be lost sheep, angry, controlling, and or just unhappy?

  STOP.

  Stop thinking of your children as children. Do not think of their present, think of their future. Think of who your children will be as adults.

  Children are a blessing to us, a heritage of the Lord. It is an honor, a joy, and a gift to be a parent. Do not let it be a stressful experience.

  Pray for God to help you with the things you need work on. Pray for your children, that they will one day see the light of the Lord, and that as adults they will find fulfillment and joy in the Lord.

  Peace be with you and your family, in the name of Jesus Christ.

"When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things." -- 1 Corinthians 13:11

"Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is His reward. 

As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth." -- Psalm 127:3-4

"He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes." -- Proverbs 13:24

"And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." -- Ephesians 6:4

"Then were there brought unto him little children, that he should put his hands on them, and pray: and the disciples rebuked them.
But Jesus said, suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven." -- Matthew 19:13-14

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." -- Proverbs 22:6

"A bishop must be....

One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity:

(For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)" -- 1 Timothy 3:2-5

"Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest: yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul." -- Proverbs 29:17